S2E6: Attila


(in progress)

Mark: There was... this gray hall, but then... everything was, like, so white.

Reghabi: We're making progress. It's not just waking up on a table. It's human interaction.

Mark: This didn't feel human, this felt like a nightmare. I mean, why is she rattling off a bunch of facts? What are they doing to her?

Reghabi: All I know is she's essential.

Mark: She didn't even recognize me.

Reghabi: The Gemma you know is still in there. And when you get her out, it will be the two of you out here together.

Mark: Bargaining. You know what that is?

Reghabi: What do you mean?

Mark: Well, it's one of the stages. You think about all the things you'd do, and all the ways you'd change to get that person back. You'd drink less. You'd listen more. It's dumb, but you do it anyway.

Reghabi: It's normal.

Mark: Yeah. But for me, it might actually happen.

Dylan G: It was a sketch of a black hallway, with a black elevator that only goes down.

So there's a floor beneath us.

That must be where they're keeping her.

Dylan G: There were directions on the back.

Well, let's see it.

Dylan G: I left it there, behind the poster.

Why didn't you just take it?

Dylan G: I just didn't, okay? I don't wanna get in trouble right now.

Helly R: Okay. Well, I don't give a shit about that, so I'll go get it. You said it's behind the poster of you actually being brave?

Dylan G: Okay, yeah. f*ck you. You don't know everything.

Mark S: Then tell us.

It's okay.

Helly R: Okay. Well, I still have a hall pass, so I can go to the break room now, and then we can start after lunch.

Mark S: Yeah. Maybe.

Helly R: Maybe? Did everyone sever their balls in the elevator this morning?

Mark S: I'm starving.

Helly R: Mark? Are you okay?

Miss Huang: Sir?

Mr. Milchick: Have a seat. I had my performance review yesterday.

Miss Huang: How did it go?

Mr. Milchick: Many valid concerns were raised, which I look forward to addressing.

Miss Huang: I'm glad for you.

Mr. Milchick: I feel I should remind you, you cannot graduate from this fellowship until I have deemed you Wintertide material. This will mean using your time well, focusing on your own duties, and eradicating from your essence childish folly.

Miss Huang: I understand, sir.

Mr. Milchick: I shall be busy for the rest of the day. I trust you can steward the floor in my stead?

Miss Huang: Of course.

Mr. Milchick: Good. You may sit at your regular desk.

Miss Huang: Thank you, Mr. Milchick.

Helly R: He threatened you?

Mark S: As I was leaving. In the elevator.

Helly R: They're trying to intimidate us. Divide us.

Mark S: And also...

Helly R: It's so that we won't work together, because they know what will happen if we do. I'm gonna go get that map.

Mark S: Helly, we shared vessels.

Helly R: What's that?

Mark S: Well, we... we had, uh, sex.

Helly R: Okay. Y-You and... Like... Like, in a Wellness session?

Mark S: No. Not... Ms. Casey. It was, uh, at the retreat. In your tent.

Helly R: Oh.

Mark S: Yeah.

Helly R: Oh. You mean...

Mark S: I mean, obviously, you know, I thought it was you. Uh, 'cause, you know, I've been having those feelings since, like, before the OTC. So when she... I just... I... I had no idea, okay?

Helly R: Uh-huh.

Mark S: I'm... I'm sorry, Helly. I, uh... She tricked me. I mean, I... you know, wanted to, but she... she tricked b-both of us.

Helly R: It's probably another tactic. Something to drive a wedge between us. Like...

Mark S: Helly...

Helly R: I'm gonna go for a walk.

Mark S: Helly, I'm sorry. I thought it was you.

Helly R: But it wasn't me. Yeah, I'm just gonna go walk around.

Dylan G: First date, let me guess. Scuba.

Gretchen: Thai food.

Dylan G: Nice.

Gretchen: Though you did take scuba lessons last year.

Dylan G: Yeah? Which sea?

Gretchen: It... It was in a pool.

Dylan G: Okay. Cool.

Gretchen: It was a little expensive.

Dylan G: Oh.

Gretchen: You've had a lot of phases. Scuba diving, woodworking.

Dylan G: Wow. So, my outie's really diverse.

Gretchen: Garage beer-making.

Dylan G: Maybe I'm trying to find something I excel in up there, like I do down here.

Gretchen: I sometimes wonder if you're just not happy.

Dylan G: I'm sure it's not that. Cause, like, you know... I mean, here, with you, I'm super happy. I just, like, wanna hear about all my offspring and stare at your face. Sorry. That was weird.

Gretchen: No. It was really sweet. I like it. I like this.

Dylan G: I wish we could really be together. Like, all the time.

Gretchen: I mean, we are. Aren't we?

Dylan G: You and him are. But I'm not. Is it okay if we try the hug again? I kind of like the hugging.

Mark S: Oh, hey. I was coming to find you.

Helly R: Same.

Mark S: Look, I am so sorry. I can't even imagine what it must be like to...

Helly R: You thought it was me.

Mark S: Hundred percent.

Helly R: Which means you wanted to. With me.

Mark S: Yeah.

Helly R: What sucks is that she got to have that, and I didn't. That she used me to trick my friends. Used my body to get close to you. That she dresses me in the morning like I'm a baby. That she controls me, and this company, and all of us. It's disgusting.

Mark S: Hey, do you... do you want me to, like, describe... what happened? Like, I feel like you have every right to know.

Helly R: No, no, no. I don't want her memory.

Mark S: Okay.

Helly R: I want my own. Would you like that?

Mark S: Yeah, I'd like that. But how?

Helly R: Ta-da. A tent.

Helly R: I'm nervous.

Mark S: Me too.

Helly R: You too.

It's okay.

Okay.

Mark S: Oh, wait.

Mark S: Yes?

Helly R: Yes.

Mr. Milchick: You must eradicate from your essence childish folly. You must eradicate from yourself childish folly. You must abandon childish things. You must grow up. You must grow up. Grow up. Grow up. Grow up. Grow. Grow. Grow. Grow. Grow.

Helly R: Was it different with me?

Mark S: Oh, no, you're bleeding.

Helly R: No, you are.

Miss Huang: You have two minutes left. Humidity on the severed floor is maintained at a consistent 45%. It must be something else.

Mark S: Oh. Oh.

Miss Huang: Did you punch him?

Helly R: Uh, I mean, not today.

Miss Huang: What were you doing when the nosebleed occurred?

Helly R: We were refining s... something.

Miss Huang: Do you have a deviated septum?

Mark S: Well, I don't know what that is.

Miss Huang: Would you like me to put petroleum jelly in your nostrils?

Mark S: Uh, no, thanks.

Miss Huang: Any other symptoms? Any auras or hallucinations?

Mark S: No. I think it stopped. I feel better.

Miss Huang: I'm going to take your blood pressure.

Reghabi: Where are you?

Mark: I'm at Lumon.

Miss Huang: What?

What?

Mark: f*ck. I was just...

Miss Huang: Mark?

Mark: Wha...

Reghabi: Were you just at Lumon?

Mark: What time is it?

Reghabi: Are you at Lumon or in your basement with me?

Mark: I... I... I don't know.

Reghabi: Do you remember a hallway? A black hallway?

Mark: I remember, uh... I remember... Okay. I remember a desk. I remember a desk. I remember... I remember... I remember... Shit.

Reghabi: That was another crossover memory. A recent one. That's good. You'll feel gaps in time until it all comes back together.

Mark: Well, when the f*ck is that gonna happen?

Reghabi: We need to enhance. Speed up the process.

Mark: Is that safe?

Reghabi: There's a slight chance of hemorrhage.

Mark: Okay. So, me bleeding to death.

Reghabi: Not necessarily. We'll flood the chip itself.

Mark: Flood the chip?

Reghabi: Through the hole in your head.

Mark: Jesus Christ.

Reghabi: That you've already got.

Mark: Okay... You know what? Get the f*ck off me. I am not doing this, okay?

Reghabi: We're close. It's happening.

Mark: Get this shit off right now! Please.

Reghabi: We need to push!

Mark: Get it off... God. I'm fu... I'm starving.

Reghabi: That's also from reintegration.

Mark: Okay, you know what? I'm gonna go eat.

Reghabi: f*ck.

Irving: Hello.

Burt: Who the hell are you?

Burt: It's a joke.

Irving: Oh.

Burt: Come on in. Hey.

Oh. Okay.

What the heck?

Burt: Fields is tending the ham. I hope you like a cumin glaze.

Irving: Oh. Ye... Yes, of course.

Burt: Do you not?

Irving: No, I do.

Fields: Attila.

Burt: Yes, Attila?

Fields: Did you just ask about the glaze?

Burt: I did.

Fields: Well, don't. I've already put it on.

Burt: I was gonna say w... we also have corn.

Fields: Oh, yes. We could feed him a pile of loose corn.

Oh.

Fields: What your innie ever saw in this Philistine is beyond me.

Irving: Fields, I presume.

Fields: Yes.

Irving: Irving.

Fields: Irving.

Irving: Yes.

Fields: Welcome back to our home.

Irving: Yes. I'm sorry about the last time. I'm sure that felt quite invasive.

Fields: Nonsense. What's mine's yours. And you've brought wine.

Burt: Irving, no one's ever thrown blood on you on your way into work?

Irving: No.

Fields: It wasn't blood. It was paint.

Burt: Meant to evoke blood.

Fields: Not what you said.

Burt: The Whole Mind people are off the deep end, is my point.

Irving: And, Burt, how di... how did you come to be at the company?

Burt: Me?

Irving: Yes, I'm very curious.

Burt: Well, as a matter of fact, I was guided to Lumon's door by Jesus.

Irving: Oh. Jesus Christ?

Burt: That's the one.

Fields: You should just leave it at that, and let him wonder what the hell you meant.

Burt: No, we'd been attending the Lutheran church for some years. And I should mention that I'd been what you might call a scoundrel... in my younger days.

Fields: To put it mildly.

Burt: So, one Sunday at breakfast, Fields asked me point blank, do I think I'm going to heaven?

Irving: Hmm. As one asks at breakfast.

Burt: I pretend to think about it, but I know the answer is no. To which I replied, "What am I supposed to do up there for eternity all by myself?"

Irving: I see.

Burt: So we hop on the train to church, and it so happens the sermon that day is about severance...

Fields: Uh. Yeah.

Burt: ...which was still very new at the time. And the pastor says... As if he'd been listening to our conversation, he said the church's stance is that innies are, you know, complete individuals, with souls... that can be judged separately from their outie.

Irving: So, an innie can go to heaven.

Burt: Whilst the outie burns.

Fields: We're not zealots, I swear. But we... we figured that if it were true, it may be a way for part of Burt to...

Oh, you know...

Irving: Wow.

Burt: He's looking for the exit.

Irving: No, it's... it's just, uh... So, the hope was for Burt's innie to go to heaven.

Fields: Yes. With me.

Irving: Hmm.

Dylan: Gretch, it's the end of the month. Those salesmen are just dying to hit their numbers and get cars off the lot. They'll basically be giving me money.

Gretchen: Mmm.

Dylan: Okay. Fine. Just test drive only. I won't commit to anything.

Merrick: No. No.

Gretchen: Thank you.

Dylan: You didn't tell me how'd it go. You went back to Lumon, right?

Gretchen: Oh. Um...

Merrick: No.

Dylan: That good?

Gretchen: They canceled it. I didn't see him... you.

Gretchen: Happy plate. Happy plate.

Jim: Happy plate.

Gretchen: Go play with your sister.

Dylan: Canceled it? What happened?

Gretchen: They didn't say. Guess you got too busy.

Dylan: Hey. Buddy. Try it. No. Okay.

Oh. Mm-mmm. No.

Mark: Thank you.

Helena: Mark Scout. Thought that was you. I'm Helena Eagan. I work at Lumon.

Mark: Yeah. No, I... I... I... I know who you are.

Helena: Well, it's nice to officially meet you. Have you had enough to eat?

Mark: Uh, yeah, quite possibly.

Helena: I hope they're feeding you at work. May I?

Mark: Please.

Helena: It's really great to run into you. I've heard nothing but good things about your work, by the way.

Mark: Thank you. I've heard nothing at all about my work, so...

Helena: Severance humor. That's so clever.

Mark: Hmm. And so easy.

Helena: Look, I'm sorry for the systemic error from the other night.

Mark: The systemic error? You mean the... the overtime thing?

Helena: Yes. The OTC.

Mark: Oh.

Helena: It never should have happened, and it... and it never will again. We take pride as a company to be better than that, and we will be better.

Mark: Well, that's nice to hear. Thanks.

Helena: Of course.

Mark: So, you know all about it then.

Helena: Yes, I know all about it. I'm, like, the head of the company, Mark.

Mark: Right. Dumb. Sorry.

Helena: Yeah, you should be sorry.

Mark: Really? Okay.

Helena: I'm kidding. You're clearly not dumb.

Mark: I don't know. You... You're the one who invented a revolutionary medical procedure.

Helena: Hey, now, that was... that was not me. That was my father.

Mark: Uh-huh.

Helena: You should meet him sometime.

Mark: Your father?

Helena: Sure. Why not?

Mark: You wanna take me home to Dad already?

Helena: Yeah, I think it's finally time.

Mark: Okay. Sure. Let's do it.

Helena: You'd be the first.

Mark: Oh. So, no pressure.

Helena: Yeah. None whatsoever. But seriously, I'd love to hear about your experiences sometime.

Mark: Okay. Yeah. About severance?

Helena: I... I meant the overtime con... I meant the other night. I mean, I can't imagine how confusing that must have been. Traumatic, even. And I know you've already been through so much with losing your wife and all. Hanna.

Mark: Gemma.

Helena: Right. Gemma. Sorry. It was a car accident, right?

Mark: That's right.

Helena: Yeah, such a shame. She was so young.

Mark: Thank you.

Helena: Are you all right?

Mark: I'm fine. I'm just about finished here.

Helena: Okay. Right.

Mark: Well, it was nice to meet you, Helena.

Helena: Yeah. You too, Mark.

Helena: What is it?

Mark: Nothing.

Good night.

Burt: We used to call each other hon, then about ten years ago that became Attila.

Fields: Because... Do you know history?

Burt: Yeah. He knows history.

Fields: And it wasn't ten years ago. It was 20.

Burt: No. No.

Fields: Yes. Yes! Because I remember we were having drinks with your Lumon partner. Quite startled him.

Irving: Didn't the first severed office open 12 years ago?

Burt: Yes, it did. Yeah. Maybe that's enough of that, hmm?

Irving: Mmm. You know the... the corn is very special.

Fields: Do you think you two ever made love at work?

Burt: Fields, Jesus.

Fields: Can we not just be pragmatic adults about this? There is a nonzero chance that the two of you had unprotected sex. And so, I felt the right to ask.

Burt: Are you done humiliating our guest?

Fields: Sounds like I'm mad, but I'm not. Cards on the table. I've been talking to Pastor Gale about this, and I... I believe that innies deserve to experience love. I mean it. And I hope it was beautiful.

Mark: Sorry for being a d*ck. Let's do it. Tonight.

There.

Mark: How long will it take?

Reghabi: It'll be fast.

Mark: Fast. How fast?

Helly R (memory): I'm nervous.

Helly R (memory): Yes.

Mark: What the f*ck?

Reghabi: Don't move like that. You have to keep your head still. Ignore it. Tell me...

Devon: Mark?

Mark: My car's in the driveway. She knows I'm here.

Reghabi: No...

Devon: Mark.

Mark: Yeah?

Devon: Hey. Dude, I left you, like, five messages. Are you better?

Mark: No, I'm still sick.

Devon: Well, you can't not pick up when we're doing corporate espionage shit. The floodlight thing was a bust, right? Because I have had an idea that is a little dumber.

Mark: Okay, Devon...

Devon: Do you remember the rich lady from baby camp? The one I, like, kind of had a crush on? I was thinking...

Mark: Yeah. Look, uh, I'm already trying something else.

Devon: Okay. What are you trying?

Mark: Just don't worry about it.

Devon: What the f*ck does that mean?

Mark: I'm doing it myself.

Devon: F-f*ck that. Why are you trying to cut me out of this? Shit.

Mark: I'm really not, Devon.

Devon: You... You literally are.

Mark: Okay, fine. I am, but I didn't ask for your help!

Devon: f*ck you, officially.

Mark: And what is that smell?

Devon: What smell? Oh, my God. Mark.

Reghabi: Don't touch him.

Devon: Who the f*ck are you? Mark? It's okay. It's okay, buddy. It's okay. It's okay.

Irving: Thank you for the spare ham. Is Fields...

Burt: He's fine. He'll be embarrassed tomorrow. You know, he... he gets fuzzy. Like saying I worked at Lumon 20 years ago, which is, of course, before severance even existed.

Irving: Of course.

Burt: Sorry.

Irving: No, this... this was fun.

Burt: Yeah?

Irving: Yeah. Yeah. So, we should do it again sometime.

Burt: You, me, Fields? Or you, me?

Irving: Oh... No, I meant with Fields.

Yeah.

Yeah?

Irving: Yeah. But, you know, it's either way.

Burt: Good.

Irving: Good night, Burt.

Burt: Good night.